KnockOff Alley
by Arhtea
Summary: Welcome to KnockOff Alley, the bestest marketplace for all your magical needs!


Next to Knocturn Alley, a little farther from Diagon Alley, is another entirely wondrous place called KnockOff Alley. It is the place where you can buy whatever your heart desires and you really don't have money for. While the ministry workers are not looking, each seller brings out their trays of TimeTruners and Magic Wnads. If you are really lucky, you might stumble upon a genuine™ Salazar Slytherin's medallion or maybe the famed Elder Wand. Of course…as one might expect, when they get home and realize that they did in fact buy an Elder WNAD rather than and Elder WAND, they might feel a little cheated and race back. Only to find that the seller they bought it from is entirely gone. But oh what luck, there is a new one there already, offering you a new selection of oh so many rare artifacts for only a handful of knuts.

The trouble with KnockOff Alley is, as you might have guessed, that while you might get it for dirt cheap prices…you can never be quite sure what you bought. With the Elder Wnads it is usually easy. They will either turn out to be a low quality line of wands that fell off of the back of some cart. Or simply twigs, enchanted to feel powerful to the holder. At least for a little while anyway. Until they disappear in a puff of smoke…

With TimeTruners one has to be more careful. The upside is that a lot of people can't really come back to complain. Once you've accidentally ended up in the stone ages, you'll be too busy running from a couple of lovely predators and maybe cursing the piece of magical equipment that has probably by now disintegrated, to file complaints about faulty products. Travel through space and time continuum is maybe not something you want to go cheap on.

Then there was that story still told in the small tavern, that looks like the gentlest of breezes could knock it over. Or knock it off… While the barman, who himself looks eerily similar to the friendly Tom from Leaky Cauldron, or at least tries to look but it ends up being kind of creepy, hands you your FrieWhiskey or LardBeer, you might ask them about the poor witch who once bought a genuine Preverell Invisibility Cloak.

It turns out after the initial test, she chose to use it to go on a mission. Spying for this or that foreign diplomat in order to enhance her boss's business interests. It went remarkably well. She made it inside the conference room and stood discreetly near the long red curtains, those being the perfect background to blend into. Oh if she had only thought to hide herself behind the curtains. Just for the extra protection.

About half-way through the meeting, something went wrong. A malfunction in the magic causing a glorious Blue Screen of Death effect. If you think it is infuriating on a computer screen, try and think of the blaring blue against the discreet red curtains, forming a shape of a person under a heavy cloak. Needless to say that the witch had to leave in quite a hurry. She did get away with her life. And perhaps with an important lesson about trusting people…

Ah yes, KnockOff Alley is a truly remarkable place for those short on cash. Or connections. If you look carefully enough, who knows, maybe you'll even encounter Harvery Protter with a "Z" of a scar on his face. The boy who lived. Because who the hell would want to bother with killing him?

And then there's HoneyDykes. Unfortunately the wizards and witches are a bit behind on muggle slang and slurs which is why they cannot for the life of them figure out why the muggleborns who pass by either snigger under their breaths or blush or worse...

Regardless of the naming accident, most of their treats ARE edible and quite surprisingly rather tasty. As long as you don't mind your chocolate frogs with sometimes an odd number of legs or maybe bahing like sheep...

The candy part tends to be easy, the magic is hard. And a couple young muggleborns swear that the Bernie Botts Every Flavored Beans are actually a muggle treat by the name of Bean Boozled. But it isn't like the purebloods would ever check.


End file.
